January 18, 1997

by Jeanene Van Zandt

This morning I dreamed I was with Townes. The dream began with things like they are now, with me and the children and friends (don't know who) sitting in my house (different, more like a hotel suite and by a lake) crying and talking about Townes, when one of the guests jumped up and said, "Do you want me to go down there and do that voodoo thing?"

I said, "Oh would you?" and he said, "Sure" and off he went and we all stood by the window and watched toward the lake. The land had a fairly steep hill that you couldn't see the bottom of, just the water. The friend appeared coming over the hill, and I asked, "Did you do it?" and he said, "Yea, He's right behind me." By this time I was standing in the doorway and then Townes came over the hill and was he beautiful.

There he stood grinning that grin, clean with his shirt tucked in twenty years younger, his hair was black with just a little silver, shoulder length. He was healthy and strong. He came to me and said, "Hi Babe" like he always did and took my hands in his. I started to cry and led him to the table and we sat holding hands. He said "What's wrong Babe?" and I said "Townes you died" and he said "I did?" and I said "Yea", and he asked "When did that happen?" and I said "More than two weeks ago." and he said "Really?" and he was still holding my hands and he looked down at them and said, "Well your fingernails have grown, they look great." I had on two rings. The diamond ring he had given me Christmas before last that I wear on my right ring finger only in the dream it was on my left. And the ring on my right I didn't recognize and he said, "I don't like that ring but this one that I gave you (as he rubbed it with his index finger) is just right".

At this point the friends had disappeared and Will and Katie were standing next to him with their mouths hanging open and He turned to Katie and said "Hi Belle" and picked her up and put his arm around Will who put his head on his chest and they stood for a long time hugging. Then the house turned into my real house and he played with Katie and wrestled with Will on the futon like he always did and I just watched them.

Then it was the next morning and I was waking in my bed and I couldn't find Townes so I got up to look for him and found him sleeping on the floor wrapped in one of his beautiful Indian blankets between my and Katie's beds and I was just watching him. Then Will came into the room and said "Wake up Pops" and Townes sat up with his arms around his knees and we noticed that he was wearing a real flashy watch and

a sparkly gold and diamond ring and Will said, "Can I have that ring, you won't be needing it" and they laughed and Townes pulled off the ring and tossed it to Will. Will caught it and was admiring it and I said "Will, you know you're too young to wear that. You let me keep it for you until you've grown" and he said "Oh Mom" and I said "Give it to me" and he tossed it into the air and it bounced off the ceiling and fell to the floor at my feet and it looked like it was coming to pieces and I said "Now look what you've done" and I picked it up and it had turned into a charm ring. Out of the top it had two dice, gold, studded with rubies and these red and blue bejeweled pom pom looking things and I looked up at Townes who was leaning back against Katie's bed and she was sitting on the edge of her bed next to him with a big smile on her face. Townes was sitting on the floor with his arms around his legs grinning that grin.

Then in real life Katie woke me saying she was hungry and would I make her some cereal. I didn't want to leave my dream but I got up and made the cereal.